Monday, October 26, 2009

Mind rattling thoughts

This will be a boring post.. mainly just my mind rattling around with thoughts. I love this time of year. The temperature in NC drops to where it is comfortable and pleasant. The trees are now showing their beautiful colors. I love driving along the roads and watch the intensity of yellow, orange, greens and red change with each tree or even on the same tree. I love the colors of pumpkins and mums...I am in awe of the beautiful world the Lord provided for us.

I looked out of my window this morning and saw Bob, the groundhog, sitting on the step to the shed. He was checking out my lawn to see if there was anything good to eat. I kinda even felt warmly toward old Bob today. I thought about how I groan when I look at the tunnels he has dug to get to my yard but then think of the moose Jodi faces in her yard in Alaska and Bob doesn't seem so bad.

I have been thinking about this past year which I will not put high on my list of years to remember . (Except for Stephanie and West coming into our family!!!)

I need to stop groaning and moaning so much. I now go to work and instead of getting to laugh at someone pooping in my chair, I get to watch people come into the clinic three times a week to hook up to the artificial kidney and have their blood cleaned and the fluid removed. Most of them either have only one leg or no legs due to diabetes, hypertension and renal failure. I watch as their blood circulates outside of their body and into the tubing on this dialysis machine and marvel at how intricate our bodies are. I marvel at what the Lord has provided us as temples to house our spirits in while on earth. The mechanism of our bodies, just our kidneys alone, requires so many scientific principles. Osmosis, diffusion, electrolytes etc.... It just amazes me and I don't think I am grateful enough.

I have been thinking of how I can make next year better and make better choices. What can I do to have an impact on those around me like my friends have an impact on me.
I have been trying to come up with my 2010 motto and I finally found it today. I wish I could say I found it in the scriptures but no, maybe there is something in the scriptures like it you will have find it and share it with me. I wish I had thought it up but no I found it on one of those silly things that get passed around by e-mail.

My 2010 motto is :


To be the kind of woman that when my feet hit the floor each morning Satan says "Oh crap, she's up."

I think I can do a lot with that one.
What is your motto for 2010, I would like to know.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Not fair

How come my mom and dad who are in their 80's have a better looking blog page than I do? Something is seriously wrong here.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Creepy crawly

Half way through my prayers last night ..... "Heavenly Father, please let the bug I feel crawling across my shoulders just be a tiny bug." ICKY Can you tell I have bug issues :)

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

It's a Bugs Life

Everyone knows there are spiders in the West and BUGS in the South. Most of these bugs are tolerable as they don't like people so they are never around for you to see them. But, there is a bug that defies that rule. The nasty flat bugs with pinchers on the end of them... yes, pinchers that you can see. I think they are earwigs... I call them flat, pincher bugs. I think my mom told me they were earwigs. They have turned my outside garage door panel into their homeless shelter.

Every morning I pull my car out of the garage. Due to the fact that I don't have a garage door button thing in my car, I have to get out of the car and flip open the panel on the outside and punch in the code to close the garage door. I repeat the process every night when I come home. I have learned that during the night these "earwigs" or whatever they are, crawl into this little box and sleep. So now in the morning I tap the box before I open it to wake them all up, then I stand to the side, flip open the box and flick them all out in hopes they will go find a new homeless shelter for the next night.

Occasionally, one of these bugs will try to invade the inside of my home. They must crawl up through the drains because I will find one in the sink or in the shower or tub. Being the sadistic person that I am, I try to teach them a lesson and will try to drowned them to death rather than just let them have a fast death by squishing. But..... I have found these little suckers do not drowned easily.. they somehow seem to be able to float.

Well, Sunday was the last straw for these bugs. I was running a tad late for church (Please note children I went to church!!!!) and I had to iron my clothes. I have the best iron that was ever made. It is the kind Shannon's mother-in-law uses. She mentioned it in one of her blogs, I think, so the next time I got one I tried Claudia's and I love it!!! but don't ask me to tell you the name of it. Anyway, I am digressing.........

I am ironing my white linen shirt and I start to see these little black spots showing up. I look on the bottom of my iron and there is nothing there. I keep ironing but now I am concerned about what is showing up on my shirt. When I pick the iron up I about gagged. There in the water chamber, floating in the boiling water... because I am steaming my shirt..... is yes, one of these earwig bugs!!!!!!!

That is the last straw!!! They now have invaded my life in a personal way... NO MORE HOMELESS SHELTER....it is closed, the bug spray is coming out... blame your stupid friend who thought the water chamber in my iron would be a good place to just hang out....He ruined it for the rest of you all... go someplace else!!!

I am buying a bomb.... Jodi, not the H-S or D bomb or the nuclear bomb this is worse... it is the B-bomb.. the bug bomb... the chemical mist that once dispersed in the shut up home is suppose to kill all bugs and most likely will kill humans as well ...we just haven't heard about it yet.

As far as that truant earwig in my iron's water chamber. He died by boiling to death!! serves him right. I tried to flush him out and he won't come out. Rick, my friend, keeps telling me to just keep flushing. It isn't working. I think the bug is gone but then I see him float back into the chamber. I am still getting remnants of his body as I iron... It is nasty. Any suggestions on ways to flush out a dead bug from the water chamber of a really nice iron would be appreciated.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Friends and what they teach us.

This post is dedicated to my two good friends who taught me how to play again. They know who they are. We all have friends; but it is those one or two people who truly teach us something that we will remember and love for the rest of our lives. The ones who "know the song in our heart and when we forget it, they sing it back to us." I have two friends like that. I don't get to see them much any more but despite the distance and time, I know all I would have to do is call and they would come. They are still written into the program of my funeral so they are obligated, at least for that. These two women taught me many years ago to remember how to play and that life was to short not to play.

This week at work we had a family night. (It seems like work is all I have to talk about but I now have another iron in the fire so hopefully this will soon change :) ) Yes, I am trying to bring a little bit of family home evening into my place of business. I structure it like a FHE and no one knows and it is ALWAYS a success. Kat, the sweet young admin assist who is the age of Christa, agreed to dress up as a fairy. She has never dressed up and played and danced around. She looked gorgeous and had so much fun. She danced around with me and made the residents and family members laugh. I was so proud of her and she was so proud of herself. She is remembering how good it feels to just play. I dressed up as a pink flamingo wearing a tutu... not a pretty site but good enough to get a laugh from the dementia residents.

Thank you my two good friends!!! One for having me try to find every pink flamingo thing ever made, hence my great hat and two for teaching me to laugh like there is no tomorrow and to play. Thank you both for singing my song back to me when I have forgotten it. I love you !!!

Monday, July 6, 2009

memories how sweet

I was going to give this blogging thing up. It makes me realize how little I have going on in my life. But none of you, who read my blog, give up yours because that is what makes my evenings.. reading about all of the things going on in your life.

I worked 11-7 this past weekend and realized several things. I am really good at doing laundry. What is so hard about getting four loads of laundry washed, dried, and put away in an eight hour period of time? I can do laundry with my eyes closed. When the staff come and complain about doing laundry to me it will fall on deaf ears.

I am getting older. What used to be so easy when I was younger is now so much harder. Lifting and turning people hurts my back. Reading medication bottle labels requires me to take off my glasses and hold the thing real close to my eyes and most disturbing is I used to be able to do poop and smelly urine with no problems and now it makes me gag. But most difficult is watching these dear little people and hoping that I will never be tormented with this dreaded disease.

I walked the halls with Ms. K. for hours Saturday night. She carried her shoes, pJs and other assorted clothes wrapped up in a little ball. She had her pocket book. She wore earrings although they did not match. She held tight to my hand and kept asking when we could go. Ms K. wanted me to take the care giver that was watching her hallway outside and hang her. (I was in a different part of the building but she would find me) We would stop and look out of the window and see how dark it was...To dark to hang people I wouldn't be able to find a tree or a good rope and to dark to go anywhere and anyway, I didn't have a car. She would look at me and shake her head and then tell me she didn't have a car either. I guess we would have to wait until morning. Over and over and over we did this...

Finally, it dawned on me what to do...... I convinced her to go with me to her room. I got her to lay down on the bed although she was wearing no depends, her jammie bottoms and top and then a shirt and a pair of pants and then a sweater and then her bathrobe. I pulled the chair next to the bed held her hand and gently began to draw light gentle circles on her face and began to sing primary songs. She relaxed, she pulled me close and gave me a kiss and told me she loved me, I told her that I loved her and she was safe and she could sleep.. soon she was asleep...

Thank you Ms. K. I too, relaxed and smiled as I remembered the many nights I sat with one of my kids by their beds gently drawing circles on their faces until they relaxed enough to finally fall asleep.

Memories are a sweet thing.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

stop

Who knows how to stop blogging as in make get rid of it?????

Sunday, March 1, 2009

I own a snuggie

I own a snuggie. The blue blanket with the arms in it that you see on the infomercials. The one that you laugh at every time you see it and swear that you will never own and who would ever buy it. It is the BEST blanket I own. I love having the arms in it. It wraps around your feet. It is so warm. Your hands can be out and the blanket doesn't fall off. Don't tell anyone. Keep the secret....

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Just shoot me quick

Happy Valentine's day to you all. I just got home from the old single adults valentines party.
It was a combined party of two stakes. Raleigh and Garner.
To say the least this was an overwhelmingly painful experience.

One young man in his 30's was going to wear a tuxedo but instead came in his three piece suit with his bluephone stuck in his ear. All he went around asking for was a lint brush.

One lady wore high heels with sequins and really pointy toes and something wrapped around the heels.
She brought flip flops in her purse to change into. Her daughter has 3,000 pairs of shoes. She has 50.
why wear shoes if you need to carry flip flops?
I had a migraine all day but went because I made a promise I would support all of this.
I wore my velour warm up suit.... the closest thing I could find to pajama's.

There were no caffieinated drinks..... ......... .....
There was a poor 10ish looking year old boy who had to come with his mom... I am sure he is scarred for life.

The main event: watching the movie Fireproof....
from fireproofmymarriage.com. LOLOLOLOLOL
If you have seen this movie and it is on your top 10 list of favorite movies then stop reading now or I will seem rude.

HELLOOOOOOOOOOO..... between all of us that were there we would have had a HUGE bonfire of failed marriages.
A little late for fire proofing marriages.

My friend and I were the second and third oldest people there.
Everyone was crying through the movie.
When they passed around more tissues, Julia and I were the only ones with no tears.
Even the men were crying. One man said he was moved by the Spirit... WHAT?????????
In the movie when the young man gets on his knees at the bedside of his wife who has the sniffles and pleads forgiveness for being selfish and contributes his change to having found religion,
Julia turns to me and says: I really like that comforter set on that bed. The funny thing was I was thinking the same thing but really liking the bedroom furniture.
She and I were definitely not feeling it.... we looked like we had hard hearts.

Happy Valentines day to everyone.
Next year.... just shoot me quick before I head out for another round of valentine day celebration.

A semi-apology to my now grown children

Me thinks I should semi-apologize to my now grown children. When they were little I NEVER used band-aids. My mother opinion was the majority of open kid wounds needed to be only scrubbed clean, a little antibiotic ointment and the good old air would form a quick scab and all was well. During the Owie period of time, a wet paper towel took care of any oozing blood, dirt, and was cool to the burn of the scrapes sting. As well as, the child could then be distracted, the paper towel thrown away and the drama was over. Band-aids were expensive, dirty and caused more drama when they had to be removed. Very logical and I am sure all proven by scientific experimentation and documentation.

I specifically remember one time leaving Devin home to care for the children. That was mistake number one. Then we did not put up Trent's hotwheels, mistake number two. When Fred and I got home all the kids were in bed and Devin proudly announced Trent had taken some road rash but he had taken care of it. Devin went to bed. We went and got Trent up and the kid had road burn down the entire side of his little body and the dirt and gravel were still in it. Devin had wisely used wet paper towels, ointment and for the really bloody areas as many band aids and gauze pads that he could possibly lay his hands on. Trent looked like a wounded soldier of war. I wish we had taken a picture. So we spent the next hour while Fred held the screaming Trent and I scrubbed out the already dry wounds.

So back to my original post of a semi-apology to my grown children. You guys are TOUGH!!! you are TROOPERS, You did blood and gravel and road/carpet burn like little soldiers..... Way to go !!!!you are awesome.

I on the other hand, tripped and fell at the movie theater last night. I hurt my knee. I came home with my knee REALLY hurting. When I looked I had a quarter size scrape with old blood and a little dirt in it and it was KILLING.
I started to whimper with the thoughts of cleaning it off. I didn't clean it. I wanted a band aid but couldn't find one. So instead I put an ice pack on it took a Tylenol and went to bed.

I am a better mother than I am a kid. I forgot how scrapes hurt. I am so sorry. I could have at least offered you a cookie or Popsicle or maybe a little bit of lovin' along with the wet paper towel. May you forgive me; but you are better kids for it. ( I am sure of it) But please, when I am in my dementia unit and I scrape my knee or elbow or bleed a little will you offer me a cookie, Popsicle and little bit of loving along with a band aid?

Love you, Mom
PS, but raise your kids on wet paper towels!!!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Tom and Lisa

I don't know any other way to get the message to Tom and Lisa.... Congratulations!!!! someone please tell them for me. I saw cute baby Caroline's picture on Brindy's blog. Oh my gosh.... she looks just like one of Jane's babies with all of that dark hair. She is beautiful. I agree with Ali... they need to start blogging.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Dementia?????

I am sure by now that everyone is aware I work in a memory care unit aka... dementia unit. We are NOT a nursing home as I have to reinforce to everyone but then what is the difference? We look like one... old people sitting around. And we certainly smell like one, although if you come on certain days it might be cinnamon flavored pee smell and then again it might be flower pee smell...depends on the choice of air freshener. But we are really very different. And why do I love it so much.

Dementia is the inability to perform your activities of daily living ie: bathing, dressing, eating, working, etc and is caused by many things. Vascular dementia ( stroke etc.), parkinson's dementia, alchohol induced dementia, lewey body dementia and then of course alzheimer's. But the main thing is that it is the death of certain parts of the brain. It is not typical in the aging process. Our youngest resident is 58 years old!!!! that is only 4 years older than me. He was the CFO of a large national retail chain. He began to notice that he could not remember his bosses name and then he was having a hard time with numbers. This was progressing over a few years until his son found him in a garage where he had been for days because he forgot where he was and how to get out. Now he cannot operate the remote on a TV and cannot remember how to use utensils so he is going onto finger foods. Our oldest is a spry 91 year old woman who loves to shop at Chico's, wears groovy looking jewlery but unfortunately hears the voice of a man who is an alcoholic and wants her money. All auditory hallucinations. Then we have everything inbetween.

It is a wonderful place to work. Never a dull moment. I had noticed for many weeks that Miss M. was only laying around and not responding. One day, I was in the day room when the piano player came and I started to sing and dance ( yes, it was not a pretty site as I twirled around belting out she'll be coming round the mountain) But lo and behold Miss M. perked up and began to sing with me. Then we found out she could sing bicycle built for two and many other songs. Now she is one of our favorite kareoke singers.

I dance with all of the residents and how funny it is to dance with the men. We will start to slow dance and pretty soon their hands are patting my bottom... some things are never forgotten. The men break out into big grins when they get their morning kisses from me and especially if they have been just shaved. One of my favorite men used to be a colonol in the military. He is non-verbal but will come and join us in our meetings and will stand there in the at ease stance. He can stand for HOURS... it is amazing. But do not come up and startle him because he has knocked several of our residents flat with his fist.

Ms. E. loves her baby doll and will sit and stare at it for hours and will rock it and hold it. Unfortunately Ms. I also likes this particular baby and she is into kidnapping the baby. Often we will have Amber alerts for the missing baby. We usually find it in Ms. E's dresser drawer where it is being held hostage and then we have to set up a decoy to make a switch. During the holiday season we had a little stuffed boy Christmas ornament sitting on the piano. Ms. P. came to me and gave me two dollars and told me to give it to that poor little boy sitting there because no one was looking out after him. She also told me that he must be a poor little "bastard" child from the streets. She was so happy when I let her take the little 'bastard boy" into her room and he spent the holiday nicely cared for as he rode around in the basket of her walker.

I love to write airline tickets to Greenville so Ms. M will take a bath without screaming like a banchee. She proudly comes into my office nice and clean and I present her with the next ticket to Greenville so she can go home to see her mother ( who has been dead for umpteen years.) I also write out dry cleaning tickets to Ms. I. who will only wear the same clothing unless the dry cleaning service comes to get them. But she is fine if she has her ticket. Unfortunately, someone came in and stole her hair. She wanted some of mine but then we decided that my hair was not as pretty of a color and would not look good if I gave her any.

It is a happy place. The young guy dismantles all of our fire alarms. He also sets off all of the door alarms ( we are a locked facility)... He figured out how to crawl out of his bedroom window but ended up in the locked court yard. Bummer. It must have been like digging that hole to china and then finding that you are still within the walls.

Ms. V. forgets where the bathroom is. She came into my office and pooped on my upholstered chair. Then pulled her depends up and went on... Good job Ms. V. !!!!at least you remembered you needed to sit somewhere before you poop. That was probably the most comfortable toilet seat she had ever sat on.

What can you learn from this disease. These people teach me so much every day. They have taught me that living in the moment is a good thing. There is no yesterday at my work. There is only yesterday for all of us poor people who still remember. If they poop in my chair there is no lingering horror of having made a mistake. There is also no tomorrow or even the next hour. All there is is right now. Right this very minute and what is going on. I give Mr. B. a big hug and kiss and he smiles from ear to ear. Then I walk away and 5 minutes later come back and it is another moment to give him a big hug and kiss and allow him to smile from ear to ear because he has forgotten the first one and is seeing me again for the first time. Every thing is a moment.

It has made me stop and think of what I do with my moments. Do I add joy or make it a sad moment? Life to me is a little less complicated when broken down into moments.