I was going to give this blogging thing up. It makes me realize how little I have going on in my life. But none of you, who read my blog, give up yours because that is what makes my evenings.. reading about all of the things going on in your life.
I worked 11-7 this past weekend and realized several things. I am really good at doing laundry. What is so hard about getting four loads of laundry washed, dried, and put away in an eight hour period of time? I can do laundry with my eyes closed. When the staff come and complain about doing laundry to me it will fall on deaf ears.
I am getting older. What used to be so easy when I was younger is now so much harder. Lifting and turning people hurts my back. Reading medication bottle labels requires me to take off my glasses and hold the thing real close to my eyes and most disturbing is I used to be able to do poop and smelly urine with no problems and now it makes me gag. But most difficult is watching these dear little people and hoping that I will never be tormented with this dreaded disease.
I walked the halls with Ms. K. for hours Saturday night. She carried her shoes, pJs and other assorted clothes wrapped up in a little ball. She had her pocket book. She wore earrings although they did not match. She held tight to my hand and kept asking when we could go. Ms K. wanted me to take the care giver that was watching her hallway outside and hang her. (I was in a different part of the building but she would find me) We would stop and look out of the window and see how dark it was...To dark to hang people I wouldn't be able to find a tree or a good rope and to dark to go anywhere and anyway, I didn't have a car. She would look at me and shake her head and then tell me she didn't have a car either. I guess we would have to wait until morning. Over and over and over we did this...
Finally, it dawned on me what to do...... I convinced her to go with me to her room. I got her to lay down on the bed although she was wearing no depends, her jammie bottoms and top and then a shirt and a pair of pants and then a sweater and then her bathrobe. I pulled the chair next to the bed held her hand and gently began to draw light gentle circles on her face and began to sing primary songs. She relaxed, she pulled me close and gave me a kiss and told me she loved me, I told her that I loved her and she was safe and she could sleep.. soon she was asleep...
Thank you Ms. K. I too, relaxed and smiled as I remembered the many nights I sat with one of my kids by their beds gently drawing circles on their faces until they relaxed enough to finally fall asleep.
Memories are a sweet thing.